How to break the Ice at Events
By: Guest Post

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Post by Nubia Mejia of Nubia’s Nonsense

 

As bloggers, it is very important to attend social events. Your goals when attending these events should be perhaps covering the event and networking. I’d like to emphasize on networking. When you talk to a person via email or Twitter it’s not the same as putting a face to the name, a nice gesture, a smile, a good handshake. It’s essential to make a good impression and represent the brand you’ve worked so hard to create. Networking is key.
This leads me to the grand question: What do you do if you’re not a social person? How do you conquer social anxiety?

 

A lot of bloggers are extremely bold and outgoing and a lot of them are a bit… apprehensive? I don’t mean that to be a negative thing at all! It is absolutely fine, you are who you are. It’s easy to sit behind your computer, in your own personal safe place and share your thoughts with the world. It’s another completely different thing to be thrown in the middle of a jam packed room. I’ve heard people get a bit upset about this and comment things such as:
“Oh, _________ is much more different on their blog, they barely interacted with anyone tonight.”

 

While that may be true or not, It’s hard to make the transition from behind the screen to in the scene. I think it’s important to try to live up to the brand you’ve created but even more important to feel comfortable while you’re doing it.

 

5 tips to battle your social anxiety

 

  • Think Positive: Mostly every one is there for the same reason you are. To interact and engage in conversations with new people therefore you’re not alone. You shouldn’t have to put any pressure or spotlight on yourself. Believe it or not, odds are some one in the room probably recognizes you and would love to have a chat. If you’re a new blogger, you’re goal will probably be breaking the ice.
  • Compliment, Be friendly: Till this day, this is probably still my number one method. Complimenting a person is an extremely easy way to break the ice. Believe me, we’re fashion bloggers, I have a feeling you’re not going to have a hard time pinpointing something you admire. Be genuine of course. The conversation should probably go something like this: A: Hi. Can I just say I spotted your blouse out the corner of my eye and it is ravishing! B: Thanks so much. I appreciate it. A: I’m _________ by the way. Here’s my card, Do you happen to have your handy? B: Absolutely. After you get that over with and see the persons reaction, You’ve accomplished creating a comfort zone for yourself as well as a new acquaintance. #Success. 
  • Bring a friend: Unfortunately this isn’t possible all the time. However, you should do it when you have the chance. It’s a good way to practice and as cliche as it might sound “practice makes perfect”. Once you’ve gone around with a friend long enough you’ll feel more confident mingling on your own. Speaking of confidence…
  • Be comfortable with your appearance: Make sure to leave you home feeling radiant. You will probably be photographed a lot. Do whatever it takes. Hair, Make-up, Wardrobe. I speak from experience. The last thing you want to worry about all night is if your hair is frizzy or if your shoes compliment your outfit. It will stay in the back of your mind and you’ll find it rather distracting. It might drag your mood as well. Plan your outfit ahead. You’ll feel more relaxed if you’re not rushing.
  • Move Around: Staying planted in one spot is social suicide, relax. Grab a glass of wine (if age appropriate) and make sure you take in the atmosphere. Don’t forget why you went to the event to begin with. If you don’t find yourself talking to someone right away, go take photos. Observe groups around you and ALWAYS keep your ears open. You never know what you’ll hear.

 

If all else fails, remember that you’re a professional. If you’ve tried it all and just can’t seem to get into the groove, that’s fine. I think every one is entitled to an off day, it should be like a get out of jail free card. In this situation I would simply look for the person in charge, thank them for the invitation and give them your business card. This will establish your presence and your job is done.

 

Do you have any suggestions or methods that work for you? Do share.

 

image by Esra Dandin

 

 

 

Comments

  1. god you guys are on a major roll lately with these articles. AWESOME.

    One trick I do sometimes is tell myself, you will give out/get 5 business cards … or 10 or 20 or whatever depending on the event. It’s good to have a goal.

  2. Meilily says:

    Lovely and reassuring article! I especially like the suggestion of not getting distracted by insecurity about you appearance by making sure you feel radiant.

    Complimenting someone on their fashion finds is a great ice breaker, so sometimes I wish it wasn’t so dark inside these fashion events!

  3. ada_al says:

    this is really helpfull because i belong in the category of the generally social but when i have in mind that i must go mingle & do my PR thing,i just freeze!so thank you! :)

  4. Tanvi says:

    This was much needed and helpful. I sometimes forget I have to move around.

    ♡ from © tanvii.com

  5. Being around well dressed, beautiful people can be intimidating at times. But the more you get out of your comfort zone, the easier it gets and the more you learn about others and yourself. Good article & great topic…

  6. Zoobia says:

    Thanks for posting this – I get really nervous during social events. Sometimes I wonder what people will think when I mention that I have a blog. Trust me, once you get the conversation started, people are pretty curious and nice. I suppose the main thing is just to relax and remember that others are probably just as nervous.

  7. Samantha says:

    This is really helpful and so positive thank you!

  8. Rachel says:

    What an amazing post! I wish I had this to read before I went to my first blogger conference. USUALLY social me, was so shy! I felt like it was the first day of middle school. Thank you for this!

  9. Camille says:

    This was just what I needed for Fashion Week. Interesting points. I would love to meet new people in events. I’ve met some really nice people working for brands.

  10. ayieh says:

    Wow!! This was indeed a very helpful guideline for I have an event coming up, my first actually. Thank you so much for posting this just right in time.:)

  11. Very true. I read other blogs a lot! And whenever I direct anything to some semi high popular bloggers via twitter, email etc. You don’t get that same person who wrote that post about being “Genuine” and interacting with their readers? Forget about it lol.

    hopefully that will all change, and people with actually be more inviting after they hit the “publish” button.

  12. I’ve always been uncertain that I would fit in on this community for fashion bloggers as blog about my clothes creativity yes but a lot about my career in movies too…

    I have to say I am SO happy to have finally visited this site, I keep reading these articles and they are really useful! I just did a post on networking this week and this article complements it very well :)

    Virginie

  13. Deirdre says:

    This was really helpful! I’m naturally a rather shy person, and it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. I’ve also always found the complimenting tactic extremely useful!

  14. Wow, thanks for this post!! I needed to hear that… I always try to go to all the fashion events my city has to offer, and although I really love taking pictures and posting about them on my blog, I always feel a bit awkward being alone, and would love to have the guts to talk to the (often unbelievably stylish) people around me… :) So thanks again! ;)

  15. Amazing article, thank you so much!

    I went to an event recently where everyone was in groups and I was literally the only person who didn’t know anyone – my worst nightmare!

    I’ll certainly remember these tips for next time I’m possibly in that situation.

  16. Claire says:

    Great tips! I also try to do a bit of investigative research before the event so I feel prepared. Who is going, what can I talk to them about, what can I find out about the event that will create conversation…

  17. I have an event coming up this week, Thursday actually, and I’m a bit nervous about it, but I still want to go and network. Of course I’ll bring my camera, so if all else fails I’ll take lots of photos.

    Love,
    Heather

  18. This was excellent! Sometimes, I can be a bit shy (not very often lol), and these are all things I’ve done to get over the initial anxiety of networking and making new acquaintances.

  19. kelsey says:

    Great post! I attended the Texas Style Council in March and I love the online experience because it’s easier for me to talk to people that way. Luckily, my husband was with me. However, I did leave feeling a bit disappointed in not reaching out more.

    I think if you bring a friend, he or she should not be more outgoing (steal the show) than you, but she should be social. Otherwise, I would just talk to my friend all night!

  20. Monica says:

    Great read! I like to bring my blog cards, as they match the look of my blog & that usually connects the two.

  21. this is basic social behavior 101, but helpful if you’re socially awkward. However, even the most confident among us are sometimes going to be snubbed. There are always a group of “mean girls” who can make even the most accomplished adult feel like she’s back in high school. When I go to events I try to be friendly to everyone, but I know not everyone is going to like me, or want to be friendly. If that happens, I just move on to a more receptive person or group of people. But I always try be extra friendly to the person I see cowering the corner. I know s/he will be grateful and hopefully will become a colleague, maybe even a friend.

  22. Jessica says:

    Great tips. I have a tendency to over think what im saying and then get tongue-tied/red-faced and embarrassed. (and sweaty)(hot mess) I like the idea of thinking positively and complimenting others, makes you stop thinking about yourself, takes the pressure off!

  23. Stephanie says:

    This is an extremely helpful article- for sure! I have not yet had the pleasure of attending any events like this, but I have a feeling I would be a little on the shy side! These are all really great tips that I hope to put into action sooner rather than later. Thank you!

  24. Rania says:

    Thank you for this great post! It comes just right in time when I need it… :)

    One thing that adds a pressure on me is that I will be in the ‘English speaking’ environment where English is not my first language.. I think I just have to relax and start thinking positively so I won’t get lost for words.. :)

  25. Very good post! I have a little question.. What do you have to do to get invited to different fashion events? Or do you just go and see what happens?

    Love,

    Rock ‘n Style
    http://www.rocknstyleblog.blogspot.com
    http://twitter.com/RocknStyle

  26. tiffany says:

    amazing tips and advice! what really helps me is thinking that there are many other people with the same feelings as me in the room…it helps me cope! :P

  27. MizzJ says:

    Argh I should bookmark this post! I usually avoid events unless 1) they’re near me and 2) I know someone else just b/c events with snobby fashion people just bring me back to awkward teen years! Love the camera suggestion since then you can just hide behind the lens haha

    I would add to the suggestions that you don’t give out cards until you’ve had a real connection with someone. I’ve met people who just give out cards willy-nilly and you end up tossing them b/c you don’t really care about the person.

  28. de la Pen says:

    Awesome post! I definitely had to overcome shyness at events and I’m still working on it. However, these tips will definitely help. Thanks a bunch! :)

  29. Kaelah Bee says:

    Loved this post! So very true. I’d love to see a post on Blogger Business Card Etiquette when it comes to design and such. What information is relevant and if it’s okay or tacky to have a picture of you on one side, etc!

  30. Tiffany says:

    Absolutely fabulous tips!

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