How Not To Be A Digital Narcissist

As I write this post, I'm curled up on the couch with a glass of champagne, watching The Golden Globes. I figured there's really no better setting to talk about narcissism than when you're watching a bunch of Hollywood stars congratulate each other, am I right?

Anyway, today's topic is mostly some tips for being graceful when it comes to creating an online persona. It can be difficult to find the balance between coming across as confident and open or as completely full of yourself. As fashion bloggers we want to share a piece of ourselves with our community and our followers, so how do you do that without bragging about yourself, your clothes and your (obviously) keen sense of style?


Here are 3 things to keep in mind to help you avoid digital narcissism:

 1. Instead of talking about yourself, talk AS yourself. This is a tip taken directly from a recent post on Copyblogger ( one of IFB's favorite resources). People follow you on your blog and social media platforms because they like you, but mostly because they like your UNIQUE point of view (there is data that supports this). Show your perspective as often as you can. Share things you like, that you've read, that helps your readers in one way or another, this will form a composite of your taste and personality. For example, instead of flaunting a new purchase, try sharing how to mix something like it into your wardrobe. Give a tip, show your style and inspire your followers all at the same time.


 2. When sharing photos, point the lens away from you, not at you. Of course on your blog you're going to have pictures of yourself. What I'm talking about here is more about photo sharing through mediums like Instagram and Facebook. To be honest, there's not many things  more off-putting to me than a photo-stream of 50 sexy faces that seem to proclaim just how good you think you look. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing photos of people! When you're in a cool place or doing something fun or wearing something awesome, by all means share it. Consider also though, sharing little glimpses into your life, your home, your pets your meals, your travels… You know what I mean. I love seeing images that give me an idea of what it might be like to be in your shoes. Show me a moment in time.


 3. Just be authentic. I think my biggest pet peeve in life is people who pretend to be something they are not. We all hate being lied to, and presenting a different version of yourself online than I might meet in person is just not cool. Notice I said different – because there's nothing wrong with a little editing. Show the best, most stylish and most interesting parts of yourself. That's not lying, it's marketing! Maybe you do think you look absolutely incredible when you pout for the camera and really enjoy talking at length about how tied you are today, but I guarantee you have more fascinating things to say and show the world.


Dazzle with your wit and intelligence.
Inspire with your stylish viewpoint.
Impress with your genuine attitude and outlook.


You are talented, beautiful, smart and gracious. Being useful will help you stay classy, be humble and shine as all the things that you are.

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11 Responses

  1. madeleine gallay

    the journalistic command of “show don’t tell” comes to mind …

    it’s just too wide of a web to have many rules and pointers …

    showing and writing with style has power that tired “tips” don’t

    really take one piece of jewelry off at the door? one that I especially hate …

    reality shows have cultivated a pseudo expertise and honestly, well, that’s not where style comes from

  2. Daniel Dunt

    This is possibly one of, if not the best post I’ve read via Independent Fashion Bloggers. I take note to the point which states “Just be authentic”, primarily due to the fact that I cannot stand people who sit and post about things which they claim to “care deeply” about one minute, and then by the time you reach the next visit, they’re mumbling on about a completely different topic, and in most circumstances something which contradicts their previous thoughts and “beliefs” entirely.

    Well, that was my little bitch-fest. My original point? This is a cool post, bro.

    (I may have drank a little too much coffee a moment ago… erm, sorry?)

  3. Daniel Dunt

    Also (just to be a little annoying and comment lots and lots), on my blog Facebook page I tend to share links to items, websites and a lot of the time, bands/vocalists videos a lot of the time. Is that what you were referring to throughout the first point?

  4. Dari

    This is a really good post, but will, most likely, fall on deaf ears. Digital narcissists are stubborn that way. 😛

    But I think this post also helps others better connect with their readers. Thanks!

  5. Miška

    Well, I am getting started in blogging and I read so much stuff like that! But its good all the time remind to yourself what is important to be good blogger. Nice helpful post!
    Thanks (:

  6. Stacey

    “the more you talk about yourself, the fewer people are interested in following you.”

    Great advice in theory, but I don’t know how true this is in the realm of fashion blogging. Overall, the bloggers with most comments/ followers are those who seem the most narcissistic, posting, as you say, “50 sexy faces” in a row. And most bloggers who post outfit photos alongside informational posts will tell you they get the most comments on outfit photos. There are exceptions (like “Honestly…WTF”) but from my reading experience, being self-centered works for a lot of people *shrug*

  7. Tracy

    I so enjoy fashion blogging, but have often worried about coming across as a narcissist, or just being a narcissist period by having a fashion blog. I do NOT think I’m the cutest thing out there, by any means; I’ve just found this to be a fun creative outlet for me, and I find the taking of the pictures and the editing, etc., to be fun, relaxing, and challenging. I can’t really be anything but myself, so if this means never being featured or receiving a sponsor, so be it. I am what I am; maybe someday someone will come along that connects with me, but if not, that’s just the way it is 🙂 I agree, there’s no other way to be but authentic. It can be tempting to try and be what you think advertisers want to see, esp. when you’re really hoping to make your blog an income producer and you see other gals making income on theirs, but people will see through it immediately. I’m just gonna keep doing what I do, which is to be myself and have fun with this venue as one way to express a part of myself.

    Great post, thanks!