You Are Your Own Worst Enemy (AND Your Greatest Champion)

Hi there bloggers. How are you today? Good? Good. Could you step aside for a second, I need to have a talk with your inner monologue.

I'm sorry, who?

Yes, I need to speak with that voice inside your head, that's talking to you non-stop, all day, everyday. When it's ready to hear what I'm about to say, go ahead and read on.

Hiiiiii there inner voice, what's up? I have to tell you something very important: You are the most influential element in determining your blog's success. You, and no one else, have the ultimate power to make or break us. You're always there, putting in your opinions, thinking about everything, over-thinking everything, telling us what we can and cannot do.

That's big, right? We hardly ever think about you and your power, inner monologue, because you're omnipresent, and nearly impossible to escape.

When you're feeling negative, you are your own worst enemy.

When we listen to the voice inside our head that's filled with fear and doubt, all outside voices can cease to matter. All you hear over and over is some iteration of “I can't do this” or “I'm going to fail.” You set yourself up to trip over obstacles you've created for yourself. That's absurd, right? Life is hard enough, we don't need to make it harder on ourselves.

In this post from Forbes that talks about being your own worst enemy, the author, Erika Andersen, asks the reader if they would you stand for all this negativity if it were coming from another person; a “friend.” Probably not. You would tell that person to either get outta there or change their attitude.

Next time the negative feelings and doubts start creeping in, stop for a moment. Listen carefully to exactly what that inner monologue is saying – maybe even write it down. See the words in front of you, re-write them, and then let them back in.

For example, your inner voice says, “I'm never going to be able to blog full-time. There are too many other bloggers out there better than me, so why even bother?”

Look at those words! Keep your humility, but lose the self doubt. Try editing your approach: “Blogging full-time is a big goal to reach, and probably will not be easy. I believe I am talented and driven enough to achieve it, and eventually I will.”

All the challenges that life's circumstances will throw at you will only seem like set-backs and failures if you (and your inner monologue) let them. Look at it this way: If you trip over a hurdle in the race, are you going to just lay there, collapsed on the track in defeat, or are you going to get up, dust yourself off and see this thing through!?

When you're feeling positive, you are your greatest champion.

Ah, confidence. Everyone talks about how important it is, how attractive it is, and what a difference it makes. But where does it come from? Succeeding, being praised, these things only build confidence if your inner voice agrees. If that voice in your head is constantly telling you that what you've accomplished isn't good enough, it never will be.

Part of staying motivated and positive has to do with allowing yourself to feel good about what you've already done. How you talk to yourself affects what you do, so if you can gain control of the voice and keep it positive, happy and hungry for success – your actions will reflect that. Choose to be your own cheerleader, not your nay-sayer! Think of everything you can achieve if you just continue to believe in yourself.

Realistically, we cannot be positive and happy all the time. We all feel defeated, get sad, and want to give up sometimes. The difference will be whether you let those feelings take over, or if you simply refuse to be put down. You choose how you feel, and what you do.

I know it's terribly, terribly, cheesy to say, but this whole idea reminds me of a phrase I constantly see in different types of pretty typography on Pinterest: “She turned her can'ts into cans and her dreams into plans.” She did – herself. Meaning – IT'S ALL IN YOU. What you want, where you will go and what you will achieve is dependent on nothing at all – except for YOU. The hurdles, the obstacles, the set-backs, they will come, and you know what? They may be devastating. They may appear insurmountable.

Just remember though, that the only person telling you these things are devastating and insurmountable (who matters) is YOU. At some point you have to tell that negative inner voice to take a hike. Give yourself a break, take your challenges in stride, and keep moving forward. You are in charge, and don't ever forget that.

You got that, inner monologue? I'm the boss, not you.

 

More: Stop Whining, Start Shining: A Manifesto For The Modern Blogger; 100 Reasons It's Great to Be a Blogger; 10 Surefire Ways To Fail As A Blogger;

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7 Responses

  1. Monica

    That was amazing and so inspiring. I suffer from this. I find myself reluctant to share my blog because it’s not “good enough” yet. I’m afraid to approach people I’d like to feature because I don’t feel I’m established enough. When I made a living as a writer and editor, I felt more legitimate and as a blogger, I have self-doubt without the big publisher name backing. I chose blogging because of the freedom and flexibly it offers and because I have something to say. I was tired of working 12 hours a day and missing important events on the lives of my children. I will never get where I want to be in blogging if I don’t get over it. Thanks so much! This is exactly what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it!

    Reply
  2. Toni Styles

    Awesome post; it’s so important to keep a positive inner dialogue. As independent bloggers we need to be our own number one fan – if we don’t think we are the best, then who else will or should? It starts with the individual.

    http://rhythmandruffle.com <3

    Reply
  3. snowblackblog

    Thanks for this post. Right now my inner voice is telling me to re-think how I blog and what I want to blog about. I am taking a temporary break, but I need to keep my mind fresh and do the things I love !

    Reply
  4. Bree

    This is so true. I have doubted myself – mostly my writing and it’s definitely hindered me more than helped. Confidence is key in all facets of life.

    Reply