More often than not, the hardest person on you is yourself. That nagging feeling of not being good enough, not working hard enough, being talented enough, or ________ anything enough is a battle most of us have to face on a daily basis. I'm not a psychologist, so I don't know why we do it, I just know from anecdotal experience, that a lot of us do. When it comes to your blog, it's easy to go down that death spiral of seeing everything that needs work, that “if only this was better, my blog would be amazing.” Or the old “why is no one paying attention to my blog post?” What are we doing wrong? Perhaps that's not the question we should be asking. Maybe it's time to cut ourselves some slack, and calm down, because you never know… maybe the answers are hiding in plain sight.
Everyone takes time to learn.
After having my baby, I got to see first hand just how long it takes to learn how to do the things we do and don't even think about. Holding your head straight? That took two or three months to get down. Rolling over? Four or five moths. Talking? Eighteen months. We may be fast learners, but even the most basic of skills don't happen overnight.
You're doing better than you think.
Believe it or not, for every person that has a blog, there are many, many other people who wish they had time, dedication or discipline to have their own blog. Just blogging is something pretty amazing. How many people can think of things to write about and have the dedication to make it happen on a daily basis? Especially if they're not getting paid to do it! That takes work, a little talent, and a bit of delayed gratification. Not everyone can do it!
Beating yourself up is optional.
The truth is, once you start the “I'm not _____ enough.” You're making a choice to do it. Yes, breaking that habit is tough. It's a battle I face every day. But to go into it and spiral down the dark road the “not enoughs” take you is a choice. Would you choose to tell someone you love they're not enough? Would you do it to a friend? Yeah, I didn't think so. Make the choice to not beat yourself up. Focus on something good in your life instead.
Breaks are good for you.
Banging your head against a wall doesn't get you anywhere, and it doesn't earn you bonus points. Take a break. Walk around. Visit a friend. No one wins medals for being the most workaholic. Your blog will still be there, the internet will still be around. Just take a break and treat yourself to something nice.
Going easy on yourself helps you build confidence.
I'm not saying be delusional. But it's not the end of the world if things go wrong. Being gentle on yourself, allowing yourself to make mistakes and learning to do things right is a great way to build knowledge through experience and confidence. What better way to learn than to not be afraid of making mistakes? What better way to make mistakes than to not beat yourself up for making them. Life is more pliable than you think, and the more you learn, the more right choices you make…. the more you have confidence in yourself.
So heading out into this weekend, let your hair down. Breathe a bit easier. Cut yourself some slack, because you're doing a fantastic job just being here!
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