Is Blogging Making You Come Across as a Narcissist?

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Throughout my entire life, my dad has always given me a dose of tough love when it comes to me talking to others and sharing my accomplishments; “Speak up!!” he would demand;  “Tell so and so about your ___,” “You're mumbling, don't whisper when you talk,”  and so on. My dad, who is truly my number one fan, was trying to break me from my shyness and prompt me to become more assertive; no one likes a braggart, but being too modest can have its detriments as well. I've eventually learned that it's essential to truly be your own advocate, even if you find it painful to talk about yourself.

When it comes to social media, however, I have absolutely no problem with sharing my sentiments, personal details, potentially private moments, and insights into my daily life, with virtually anybody who cares to see or read them. My images and text are basically screaming, “Look at my fabulous new ring I just bought! Isn't my cat just so precious when she curls up on the chenille blanket?  Check out how skilled I am at nail art! Look at me in this outfit – aren't I the cutest? I just “checked in”  to the most amaze restaurant in town; yeah I hang with the cool kids, like, all the time. I just wrote about ___ — here, read it here, now it's the beeessssttttt!”

So what has shifted? Those that know me only in the atmosphere of online may think that I may a self-centered braggart, a narcissist, a “me me me” individual, however…does it take one to know one?

I don't really believe that one particular person is standing out in this space as an egomaniac, because we are all waxing poetic about ourselves.

It is encouraged — scratch that — expected to be all things at once when it comes to blogging, which includes frequently using social media to relate to your blog content, reinforce it, promote it, and share who you are, since in many cases, our blogs are reflections of ourselves.

Have you ever tried to post on social media without, in turn, sharing something about yourself? It definitely takes a determined, conscious effort to avoid doing so. Through blogging, and the other channels that we as bloggers use to support it, I do believe there is an increased comfort level with talking about ourselves, however, I think the idea of these actions leading toward narcissism can be curbed if we make it more of a two-way street. Don't just talk; listen, comment, and engage with others. Ask for opinions, advice, and think about what your readers really do want to hear about and see from you.

Have you ever worried that blogging may make you seem narcissistic?

[Image credit: Shutterstock.com]

 

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About The Author

Blogging at her site Fashion Pulse Daily since 2008 and working on fashion's editorial side since 2003 has lent Julia the acumen to think creatively and endure in the colliding worlds of blogging, fashion and beauty. New York City is her backdrop for inspiration (and many a outfit photo), where she is often found on her couch, feverishly typing away at her latest post, with her trusty feline at her side. Follow her on Instagram , Twitter, and Pinterest.

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22 Responses

  1. Oksana Radionova

    I can totally relate to this dilemma! I currently reside in a small town, where the idea of blogging is unheard of. “Like, who has the time?!” So when I first started FOS, I felt like I had to constantly explain myself to friends and family because I realized that I truly was coming across as an egoist. The tendency is to share only the most glamorous moments of our lives, and while I’m not instigating that we all start discussing our deepest, darkest secrets on our blogs, a healthy dose of reality is far more attractive than forced perfection. Your suggestion of using your blog to build a community is a great one. I would add to that letting your readers know that you are far from perfect and allowing them to see your less-than-ideal sides in hopes of encouraging and inspiring them.

    XOXO, Oksana
    http://foxyoxiesupernova.blogspot.com

    Reply
  2. Raissa

    I don’t care what any else thinks of me, what I do on my blog and social media accounts is only for myself and the people who support me. Plus, I don’t think it’s a terrible thing to be a bit narcissistic, as long as I am involved with the community. I know I’m awesome and I want to share that with people while meeting other awesome people.

    Reply
  3. Anneke Forbes

    Thanks for bringing this topic up, Julia! Back in March, I had grown uncomfortable and bored with the mass of belly button gazing I’d contributed to the world. To quell my discomfort, I vowed to offer more dynamic, focused, and helpful stories and edited my mandate to include more friends, family, local bloggers, designers, and boutiques in feature collaborations. I think readers can tell narcissism from inspiration, but bloggers can help them by avoiding hashtags like #blessed and “hey, look what I got gifted” IG posts. Instead of bragging, present the content in a creative, useful way. In doing so, page views, interaction, and brands’ desire to work with you will rise because the information presented is compelling, doesn’t inspire resentment, and shows the applications of noted awesome swag. Although not all of my posts since March have accomplished this goal, I’m happy with how this new perspective has molded my output, and feel a lot less insecure about how I am being perceived!
    xo Anneke
    http://www.annekeforbes.com

    Reply
    • julia

      I think this is a great idea, to consider your content’s impact and stategize; thanks for your comment Anneke!

      Reply
  4. Amanda

    Unfortunately as bloggers at time our constant self promoting may seem that it is a “me me me” world, but how else can we share our great opinions, tips and tricks ? 😉
    I noticed that on Instagram, the best way to promote posts was not to post photographs of the products all the time. For example, if I had a post on my Five Finds series or something related to beauty, I would also post a selfie and add all the information in the body of the image and ask them to refer to the link in my bio. WHY? Because it worked a lot better. I would get fewer likes on product photos than my selfies / cat photos and it’s not because I think I am Gods gift to earth, I’m just doing what works.

    Just like anyone out there, we share glamorous, beautiful things to share with everyone- anyone should know that not all is perfect and we are for the most part down to earth (most of us).

    Reply
    • julia

      Hi Amanda,
      Good point, and I think it’s great that you’ve been gauging the engagement level, comparing to the different kind of posts- good idea !

      Reply
  5. Megan @ Lush to Blush

    I don’t think that it’s narcissistic to share our hard work on social media. In fact, that’s how I find most of the blogs I read! It’s an interesting thought, but I’ve never caught myself thinking that someone else is self-centered, simply for sharing their posts, exciting news or anything else about themselves on social media. But again, it would be odd to see someone ONLY self-promoting, instead of engaging, sharing interesting links, etc. It’s certainly something to think about.

    Megan, Lush to Blush

    Reply
  6. abl

    I struggled (and still do) with this often. I never wanted to be “that girl” who’s social media feed is full of selfies. But the reason why I began blogging in the first place is not only because I love beauty products, but also because people would ask me about my hair or what eye shadow I had on, etc In order to really reach people, they need to see visually why they should read my blog.

    Great comments from previous posters about maintaining a balance of providing information and keeping it “real”!

    Reply
    • julia

      abl,
      That’s a really good point; I think it’s important for everyone to evaluate on an individual level how they feel about things and what their readers want and expect-thanks for the comment!

      Reply
  7. Julia

    I totally get this. I’m worried to tell my school friends about my blog, because I don’t want them to think about me this way. However, I love what I do! It gives me an outlet for both my writing and my photography.

    🙂

    exploresmore.com

    Reply
  8. Annabela

    I don´t worry about that, I like to share feelings, emotions etc with others, I find it is a great way to feel better

    Reply
  9. Nasreen

    When I read over my blog posts, sometimes, I think ‘woah there’s a lot of ‘I’s in there” and it’s all about me but I just remind myself that it’s MY blog that shares MY life so it’s pretty much a given that it’s going to mostly be about me. Now, theres a difference between sharing what you have and bragging. I try to stay modest and share what I think my readers will like too and read feedback!

    http://lazyobsession.blogspot.com

    Reply
    • Anett

      That’s exactly the way I think about it. I also have to remind myself sometimes that I’m sharing my life, my clothes and my opinions on my blog, and that it’s kind of natural. Although my FB feed pretty much consists of my outfit pictures… oh well 🙂 But again, that’s just part of my promotional strategy, so I don’t really feel guilty about it.
      http://bellapummarola.blogspot.com/

      Reply
  10. Jovana Zuka

    A personal blog is meant to illustrate a personality, and revealing a personality is not narcissistic, but a very natural part of the human existence. That unique personality is what sets us apart, what gives us a voice, what fuels our inspiration, and what helps us express ourselves in a way that is very specific, yet easy to relate to. 🙂

    Jovana @ http://aftertwofive.blogspot.com/

    Reply
  11. Souda

    All the time! I think this is what has stopped me from posting a lot of things in the past. I was always so self-conscious of what others thought. They might think I am full of myself, I’m bragging or who am I to say this or that. I’ve even shyed away from telling my family and friends about my blog altogether because it mortified me to think that they would read all my thoughts and think differently of me. I guess this ties in with my new year’s resolution because I am now throwing all those fears out the window. I’m no longer letting any of that stop me from writing posts and sharing my blog with the world, including the ones close to me. I just keep reminding myself why i started the blog. I want to share my experiences, thoughts and discoveries. I found whenever I would search for information on certain things, there wasn’t enough out there in regards to serious personal reviews of experiences or purchases. This is what I tell myself when posting.

    Reply
  12. Sabina

    Great article and very thoughtful comments it seems to be inspiring. I think that when you’re writing about the same subject all the time (your own taste) it’s hard not to wonder if you’re making it too much about you and it’s also tempting to branch out o other subjects–even if it’s just to have a post that feels different. However the most successful bloggers are the ones that are the most consistent in what they post about. And if they’re posting photo after photo of themselves in great outfits–well, they”re just giving the people what they want. I think they usually avoid coming off as braggarts by avoiding saying, in the body of the text, that they were gifted one thing or the next, or talking about how huge their following has gotten. (You just kind of see that for yourself as a reader and as for freebie clothes, you’ll just see a note at the bottom saying if something’s ℅.) Personally I think bloggers tend to come off as egotistical when they don’t allow comments and never comment anywhere else. That ruins the interactive/community feel and makes their blog seem…. masturbatory.

    Reply
  13. JulisaNicole

    I too, have recently questioned if I come off this way. I tend to share my new favorite purchases or nice things I have, want, or buy. I often think I, “hope people aren’t thinking of me as someone who brags about the things I have” because of the accomplishments I share or things that I am most proud of!

    http://julisanicole.blogspot.com

    Reply
  14. Aida

    I think blogging and social media sites have created the opportunity for radical vanity like sharing yourself through a personal post or a selfie as a form of protest or empowerment. Because lots of people get stick on blogs or social media for being ‘vain’ and then there are others that people think don’t even have the right to self love or vanity because their bodies in society are ones that you’re not supposed to be proud of. (e.g look at the hate that fatshion bloggers and plus size bloggers get).

    I literally just made a post about my journey into self love and radical vanity through the selfie. Long live radical vanity!!

    My post: http://t.co/HnSrnD9Cmo

    Reply
  15. Lisa

    As an avid reader of blogs with a long list of faves, I must say that I sense a shift in certain blogger’s presentation and content that leaves me uninterested in following them so I’ll stop. Like you said no one likes a braggart or someone that seems shallow to their readers. There are lots of successful bloggers who have been around forever yet maintain a sense of humility, modesty and genuine interest in focusing on providing helpful, on-topic and relevant info to their readers, not just a back to back cascade of selfies, and “look-at-me & my fab life” posts. While occasional self-indulgence is fine, it seems to get out of hand at a certain point and can often turn off readers. Oddly, I notice this shift among the new bloggers while those who have been at this for awhile or have more of a national presence with travel, appearances and sponsors seem more grounded. Guess they’ve mastered the balancing act of it all.

    Reply
  16. Megan @ Meg Go Run

    I do worry about coming off as being “all about me” on my blog. I try to make sure I don’t only share my successes, but also my failures. My happy and my sad.

    Reply