Are “Fashion Blogger Boyfriends” Even Happy Taking Our Photos?

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No one likes to air their dirty laundry, even if it's well curated laundry.

I'm going to come out and say it. My husband never volunteers to take an outfit photo. Sometimes I have to talk him into it. Sometimes we'll have a fight over it. And sometimes we'll have fun, but it has never, ever been one of those things like, “Oh my god, I LOVE taking photos of you!”

Over the years I've talked with other bloggers about this. Granted, no one wants to go on the record and say either they hate taking photos of their girlfriends (think of the wrath!) and/or no one wants to talk publicly about the fights they have with their partners over taking those picture perfect photos.

Yesterday, Styleite came out with an uncomfortably funny “Open Letter” from a “fashion blogger boyfriend.” He quit. He quit being the photographer. Not quitting the relationship, just quit taking pictures for her blog.

Yesterday, when I was painting a mural of your favorite moments in your home office, I thought about my tenure at “Self-Reflection and Mini-Muffins.” I rejoiced with you, when your readership spiked to astronomical numbers. I waved sparklers and drank pink champagne when we found you were going to design your own collection applying all your previous fashion design experience (none). When you woke me up to see the pictures of you modeling for that brand, I acted like it was the coming of Christ. When your tips on how to flat iron your hair went viral, I posed as eight different people online clamoring for more. When you cut your hair, even I shed a tear, like all your commenters wrote they did. I understood when you would tweet to your mini, mini muffins when we were in a loving embrace.

I don't know, maybe this guy exists. Every time I saw Colin Sokol and Rumi Neely (when they were still together) Colin genuinely seemed supportive of Rumi and excited about taking photos for Fashion Toast. In April of this year, he told The Cut:

“That’s what you do,” [Sokol] says. “You support each other. I never looked at it as any part mine. It was her brainchild, and I helped her build it and create a career. I thought we’d be together forever. Without the blog, maybe we would have been. Who’s to say? Maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.”

And yet, a vast majority of boyfriends probably don't fall into that category. Bryan Yambao, summed it up pretty frankly in the same article:

“You’ll see these poor men during Fashion Week,” says Bryan Yambao of the blog Bryanboy. “It’s sad to see them tailing the girls. It’s always the girls towering in sky-high heels and the little guy with the two camera bags taking her picture in the street. They’re like little puppies following the girls’ every whim.”

Anyway… I know my husband would never follow me around with a camera. We sometimes fight about where to draw the line between blog and real life. And maybe, that's a good thing.

[Image credit: Styeite]

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32 Responses

  1. ~ carmen ~

    It’s all about support & balance. He takes my outfit photos. I inspire his lyrics. He drives me to work. I cook him dinner. One shouldn’t take all the weight. Support & balance. :] // itsCarmen.com ☼

    Reply
  2. Bombchell

    interesting. at least they have husbands & boyfriends to take the pictures. others have to beg random strangers, and disturb siblings who are rarely interested and might finally agree to take only 1 -2 pictures for you.

    I think ladies with photographer boyfriends are pretty lucky, others give up and do selfies/ wireless remotes on tripods.

    Reply
    • Jennine Jacob

      When I was single, I was the master of balancing my camera on ledges (even though I lost a few here and there). But even when I did get into a relationship, it wasn’t until we were together for a few YEARS that he would take the photos. I used a tripod for much of that time.

      Reply
  3. anu

    lol story of my life. My husband does not follow me around though. I just ask him nicely and tell him exactly how many minutes it is going to be. working out ok for now. we will see what happens with time.

    Reply
  4. Courtney

    I do feel somewhat guilty sometimes that I make my boyfriend take my photos, however he enjoys it. He’s been into photography for a long time and now he gets a chance to use his skills. Also, we now make a day out of it and go out to cool locations and spend time together. It’s more fun when you kind of turn it into a date night!

    http://breakfastatvogue111.blogspot.com/

    Reply
    • Catherine @ Not Dressed As Lamb

      That’s exactly how it works with me and my husband, Courtney – I taught him all the things I know about photography so he’s got really good over the years… we’ve made ourselves go to places and visit things we wouldn’t normally have visited had it not been for looking for interesting places to take outfit photos. (We’ve even explored the town where we live so much more as a result.) He was already interested in photography before the blog and has an artistic eye – he even studies blogs now for ideas for photo shoots and compositions. I’m luckier than a lot of other bloggers and am very grateful to him…!

      Reply
    • Kali

      I totally agree with Courtney and Catherine. My husband and I make a little date out of it and enjoy scoping out new locations and even meeting people along the way. I am lucky in that he already loves photography and jumps at the chance to practice/get out there. Bottom line, love, support, appreciation and respect for what the other person is doing for you is huge.
      Kali
      http://www.in-spades.com

      Reply
  5. Lollie Shopping

    Thank goodness for tripods!!! My husband is SO over taking photos of me. It has sparked quite a few bicker sessions. And considering that he uses his web development skills to build me a beautiful, customized blog and is currently building me another new look, I have to let the man off the hook. I think he’s doing quite enough for me. 🙂

    Reply
    • Bike Pretty

      This! My husband hates taking outfit photos for my blog. I can only get away with it like, 3 times a year. But he does so much for my blog and is so supportive in all areas of our life together that it’s really okay.

      Just between us though, I do feel like I’m missing out on some great location shoots. Maybe I should get a blogger buddy in my neighborhood and start trading.

      Reply
  6. Lisa

    I totally agree!! Def. needs to be some kind of boundaries! I love the open letter too!! Very realistic! GREAT article! xo

    Reply
  7. Julia

    This is awesome Jennine; I only wish…I would have thought of this to write too, lol! My hubs is usually pretty good about it, but he definitely makes sacrifices, which I more often than not demand he make, b.c, you know, the lighting is SO perfect outside right now, or my hair has never looked better, or WE HAVE TO DO THIS NOW BECAUSE I HAVE NO CONTENT FOR TOMORROW. I know it can be a drag for him and a pain in the butt, and I’m so lucky to have them help me, but really wish I didn’t have to ask….

    Reply
  8. Noemi

    I think that if I had a boyfriend-photographer I would be a personal style blogger. I think that some of the most famous bloggers, like Rumi Neely, Kristina Bazan, Chiara Ferragni, started also because of their boyfriends took their photos and were interested in social media etc.
    Ok, probably a boyfriend who takes photos is not fundamental but it helps.

    Reply
  9. Ellie D

    I used to wonder about this bloggers’ boyfriends, if they were cool with the fact of following their girls to every event or runway. I think it has it’s perks, some of them are photographers and they have the chance to show their work to a lot of people.
    But if they are not interested in photography or blogging, it’s good that they stay out of it, like your are doing.

    Ellie

    http://durandurandurand.blogspot.mx/

    Reply
  10. Raz

    My husband is very supportive on everything. Even I don’t ask him to take photos of me always take picture of without my knowlegde and it come better.

    please check:
    razonrollz.com

    Raz
    x

    Reply
  11. Deborah A

    Story of my life! I just starting blogging and my hubs and I are learning to adjust to our new “blog life”. Things were a little hectic during the first weeks, but now we agreed on certain days for photographs and he is much happier to do it. Thanks for the article! 🙂

    Deborah – http://www.chiclyyours.com

    Reply
  12. Monika Faulkner

    Ah yes…the “photo shoot” fights!! It does happen…but so do “grocery shopping” fights and “laundry” fights!! Not that my hubby and I fight a lot – far from it, actually! – but combining a stressful or busy day with another “need-to-do” can put ANYONE over the edge periodically, I think!! I’m so lucky to have a guy that supports me with my blog…and the more often he takes my photos, the better he gets at it (and the more fun he seems to be having!!) He’s even starting to direct my poses!!

    http://www.StyleIsMyPudding.com

    Reply
  13. Roxanne

    I guess it really depends. Most boyfriends would really get annoyed.
    The best blogger-bf duos I’ve seen are Chiara-Andrew and Nicole-Luke.
    Right now my sister takes my pictures, and she does an amazing job most of the times. But we fight like crazy, and my mom has to be the peacemaker at times also!

    head2heels.co

    Reply
  14. Joelle

    I am so lucky in that my husband genuinely enjoys helping with my photography (or is convincingly saying so -either way I’ll take it!)

    Even with his support, I would love to evolve into a pattern of taking my own OOTD photos using a tripod and remote. Yes, the result will take much more time than if my husband were to just snap the photos, but it would be so liberating to operate on my own schedule.

    Joëlle
    http://www.lapetitenoob.com

    Reply
  15. Anastasia

    Sometimes I wish my fiancee were a professional photographer, to make my pics brilliant. Sometimes I do envy a bit these girls with their BF’s with camera. And it has some reasons – look at the top-blogs! BlondSalad, GarryPepper, yes FashionToast (now another bf taking pictures), FashionSquad, Glamourai, e.t… They all have bf’s photographers, right? And obvious part of their success.
    So if a bf can and want, why not?
    http://fashionpeekaboo.com

    Reply
  16. Lesia

    What matters the most here is the fact that there are boyfriends that just get stuck with taking pictures and there are guys that actually like photographing and are doing the look photographs but that’s not all they’re interested in. The second type blends in naturally. If you’re only doing it to make her happy, at one point you’re gonna get sick of it and that will be the end.

    http://taleofthegreat.com

    Reply
  17. choolee

    OMG thank you for that topic. My boyfriend is sometimes so annoyed by taking picutes of me… I am glad i am not the only one with that problem 😀

    But some days ago he shot the BEST OUTFIT PICTURES SINCE A VERY LONG TIME. you can check the result here: http://www.chicchoolee.com/2014/06/18/white-blouse/
    i really love the pictures :))

    have a great day everyone

    Reply
  18. Elaine

    Going to new places with my boyfriend is a great bonding experience for the both of us. He often is thinking of creative ideas of photos which is great! We work together!

    Reply
  19. CynthiaCM

    I’m fairly jealous of people with significant others who take their photos. Their pictures tend to be so much better, since they’re not relying on a tripod and remote (or timer). It’s easier to get the “perfect shot” and there’s more variety in posing. I tend not to post outfit posts since my pictures turn out really catalog-looking (that’s what happens when you rely on the T&R (tripod and remote)). I have a husband, but he’s not the photography type…

    Reply
  20. Lix

    I have mixed feelings on these articles. No one ever talks about how sad it is when women get dragged along to events with their star boyfriends, because those women are just “lucky” to stand still and be bored while their BFs take the spotlight, huh? But it must be soooo emasculating for a dude to accompany his girlfriend to an event and, god forbid, take pictures of her. The horror!

    Honestly, some people are better at taking pictures than others, and if you can work with your boyfriend with both of you coming out of it relatively unscathed, then I don’t see a reason why it would be a bad thing to have him take your picture. Me, I’ve mostly had my photos taken by my mom, and she genuinely does it solely because she loves him. She doesn’t hate it, but she does tend to rush, and I just know that that’s how it’s going to be. But she takes good pictures, and she’s happy to help me out.

    You just have to strike a balance.

    But if you’re in London, feel free to hire me as a photographer.

    Reply
    • CynthiaCM

      Yeah, but if we hired a photographer, we’d have to pay. Using a boyfriend/husband = free.

      Reply
      • Lix

        …that’s why I had my mom take pics of me. I was just shamelessly pimping my biz. 😉

  21. maureen bandari

    haha story of my life as well.even with siblings it’s the same thing.we do have to understand them though because to some extent we do cross the line and use the tag supportive to make them feel bad and lure them into taking pictures.Unless they are interested in photography,most really don’t like it much.they just do it out of love.we have got to give it up to them for that.
    http://www.thefunshionmistress.com

    Reply
  22. Onianwah

    As much as I would like to have a BF taking my pictures for me, I think it would be better to learn to take them myself manually or remotely with a tripod. You never really know what is in the other person’s mind and it is dangerous to even try to over-think it.
    It will be great if he offers every once in a while (like my ex did) but not for long and he did get tired after a while.

    Barbara
    http://www.barbara1923.com
    Lagos, Nigeria

    Reply
  23. Brooke Creech

    My fiance thinks blogging is a waste of time, but supports me 100% in it. HOWEVER, he thinks I’m beautiful and has always enjoyed taking a lot of photos of me. The fact that I put them into posts becomes a bonus since he just likes taking them.

    Reply